I have been absent from posting for a while. I apologize for this disappearing act. I seemed to have lost my words for a while. It was like I walked out of a dim bar at 2am and forgot where I parked in the crowded lot. There were words everywhere but none of them seemed to feel right.
I could feel them, scrambling around in my head, at the tip of my tongue, resting between my fingertips and the keyboard. I just couldn’t for the life of me organize them or get them to make sense.
I give students advice on writing essays everyday, yet there I was helpless to make sentences that had any meaning. My thoughts were all over the place, present, but not going anywhere. It’s was as if the words were tourists on the Jersey Turnpike in July just trying to get their families to the beach. Horns blowing, yelling, each trying to get a few inches closer to their destination yet no one moving anywhere. It’s a mass of noise, crying kids and SUVs stuffed with boogie boards and coolers.
No matter what I wrote it didn’t seem to be sufficient, I couldn’t get my point across. I felt frustrated and empty. So I took my own advice and just started typing whatever came to mind. It was slow going at first, but soon they started flowing again. The bottleneck of letters and numbers has seemed to open up and I have managed to get the traffic moving despite the road construction and tollbooths.
I’m happy to have 2016 over with. It was a tough year for me. 2017 holds the promise of a clean slate, fresh starts, and new goals. The trick, I’ve learned, is to not over complicate things. Have a clear direction but don’t sweat over the details and timelines and roadblocks. I gave up on resolutions years ago. I prefer to make to do lists for every aspect of my life and then work at them everyday. Little things like “get to the eye doctor” instead of big things like “lose 20 pounds” are so much easier to handle. Much like finding my words. I can’t sit down to write the great novel of our time, but I can sit down and tell my followers where I have been these past couple months. I can allow the words to flow on their own and instead of trying to force them into something more creative or artistic. I can go back to the beginning and Dredge the Muck for this new year. I can’t say what life changing goals I will bust through this year, but I can focus on today and do whatever I can with each 24 hour chapter I have been given.
So please forgive my sabbatical from language dear followers. I hope I can keep you interested and coming back with my simple words. Who knows what crazy thoughts and posts 2017 will bring. Those who follow me know I break the cardinal blogging rule and have no niche or focus topic, so the only thing I can promise is more and more words. Hopefully they make sense every now and then! Happy New Year!